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Coping Capability?

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 466

Gene: You and your wife do sound like a combo. One can help the other in the avenue each struggles with. And I agree the techniques taught here will help tremendously. Though as confident as I am in this, there are still days which I feel like the weight of the world lies on me...slowly but surely, I'm reinforcing the fact that each moment is just that...a moment. And time heals all that you are willing to let it heal. I learning to enjoy using these emotions to create things, pictures, writings, whatever I can think of. Thanks again for all the support, man! It helps more then you know.

Dark: That's exactly the light thats beginning to shine through. We can only do so much, until we have to let life run it's course. Sometimes that means waiting, coping, laughing...whatever the case may be, I'm holding on to the things that matter now. Changing my attitude about the things I have no control over. Accepting the imperfection in life, my own imperfections, and learning to enjoy them for what they're worth, or use them for something I feel is worthwhile. The control I allowed PA's to have a month ago, are now just residuals, memories of a struggle I made it through.

Hot damn, it's been a month since my transition...I gotta say, things are looking up!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 150

Nowadays I just laugh at myself....

Taking a step out of my situation and tell myself what I'm doing. It makes me laugh.

If I'm excessively worrying about something like meeting my work, I'll stop myself, and just look at what I'm thinking. Why am I worried? What does it matter?

I used to be the kind of person that if I was running late and waiting for a bus - I'd just constantly fixate on the bus coming. "How long now? Oh, what will I say to my boss? Why does this keep happening to me?" etc

But what's the point? The bus will come when the bus comes. In the end, all the worrying did nothing for me - so why bother?

Now when I'm in the same situation, I'll listen to my MP3 or check my emails on my PDA or whatever.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Yip. Funnily enough depression doesn't worry me that much because I have been there before and I know it will go away eventually. My wife on the other hand has had a number of PAs as a child and so they don't bother her but depression is getting to her. So it is now my perogative to help her as much as I can.

Perhaps fighting the GAD and other issues will take longer even than the PAs but you will ge there. I really believe in the techniques we have been given here and I reckon they will help us in all avenues of our lives.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 466

Lol Miki, that's kinda where I was last week when I had the attack in front of my co-worker. It got me all excited and whatnot...although my co-worker wasn't so happy, because they didn't know exactly what was going on. I'll explain it when the time comes, if necessary. However, I'm not going to sweat it since I didn't tell her off or do anything demeaning or mean. It does help, that's the point I'm at with accepting there are things I will fear...but I won't let that fear stop me from doing them!

Gene: I'm right there with you. Fighting both demons off...it's a task and a half. I feel better about how I'm handling my PA's, but the depression is something I'm learning to deal with. At least now that I know I can take one, I'm willing to fight the other. I will never give up, it would be too selfish to those around me. So it's up to me to let go, or deal with it however I must, and help those around me smile. It's not about the problem for me anymore, it's about where I want to be and consciously deciding which steps will get me there. Hope that helps your situation, as it's still a work in progress on my end

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Hi Joe

I feel the same way this week. I am not really that panicky just GAD and depression. The fact that my opinion of PAs is improving should make me feel less depressed but I can't help feeling this way. I even started smoking again after stopping for 6 months....

Anyway. I am sure that challenging our thoughts will get us there in the end.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 477

Hi Joe,

Sorry to read you're having a roughie. But I will quote my sister on this "You HAVE to love your anxiety!!!" I think there are moments when it gets really intense that we cannot control them... and those times, I feel like we can just let go and let it be. Let the anxiety do it's thing and let it make us feel bad. It's like sneezing.. you can't stop it. But if you try to stop it.. it will feel worse. It's the best thing my sister has said to me to let the pressure all come off. Anxiety is a part of me.. it's like my hands and legs. I hope this helps.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 466

Aha, there's one I feel blindsided that I never thought of: "One way of challenging thoughts is to visualize the outcome. If you want a positive outcome, how can you change your mental processes to reflect that outcome?"

Thanks Faryal! It's always nice to learn how to fish with different poles

Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish, feed him for a lifetime.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

Hi Jhori82, I think the answer to your question lies within your post.............it is all about changing your focus......reframing your perspective and looking at things from a different angle. One way of challenging thoughts is to visualize the outcome. If you want a positive outcome, how can you change your mental processes to reflect that outcome? Members........please share how you manage your thoughts in order to feel in control. Faryal, Health Educator

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 466

Lately, I've been very in and out of the generalized anxiety/depression. My willingness to take it on has changed, but coping with the "underlying" feelings, such as restlessness, fatigue, generalized anxiety, etc...all are still in the early stages for me. So accepting myself and what I go through can be more challenging then I'm willing to admit. Although I kinda just did admit it, didn't I...?

Anyways, the key to a less stressful future for me seems to be changing my focus, whereas before I worried about every little thing, whether it was substantiated or not, now I challenge those thoughts and it helps me narrow the anxiety playing field down to a more manageable pace.

The point of my ramblin man chatter: How do you manage your thoughts, so as to stay in control? You can only fight so long before you say, "STOP, just gimme a frikken break!".

I try video games, computer, writing, all of the above...but when I have none of those, I'm forced to face myself. This is where things get hard, and my mind wanders into no mans land. This is the area where I'm challenging myself the most right now. Because the more I challenge myself here, the more I experience clarity outside of my home....the more I can control my emotional state of mind.

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